Your College Semester Explained by Bible Verses

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If “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable…” (2 Timothy 3:16), let’s see how it might be applied to the experience of a typical college semester. Happy finals, everyone!

 

When you decide to just “wing it” on your big presentation:

When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. (Matthew 10:19)

Then you realise you don’t know what you’re doing and you’re not making sense:

And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom… (1 Corinthians 2:3-4)

When the professor actually expects you to read the recommended texts:

Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. (Philemon 1:21)

When that one student in your class turns in a paper twice as long as yours:

Then they asked Baruch, “Tell us, please, how did you write all these words?…” (Jeremiah 36:17a)

When the class know-it-all decides to bless us all with their wisdom yet again:

…I will show you, for I have yet something to say on God’s behalf… For truly my words are not false; one who is perfect in knowledge is with you. (Job 36:2, 4)

When that one person tries to answer questions without having done the reading:

Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? (Job 38:2)

And so the professor decides the whole class gets a pop quiz:

Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. (Job 36:3)

When one person in the group project screws up the grade for everyone:

The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12)

When the professor’s lecture is taking FOR. EV. ER.:

And a young man named Eutychus, sitting at the window, sank into a deep sleep as Paul talked still longer. And being overcome by sleep, he fell down from the third story and was taken up dead. (Acts 20:9)

When studying may very well kill you:

…Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh. (Ecclesiastes 12:12)

…He who increases knowledge increases sorrow. (Ecclesiastes 1:18)

…Festus said with a loud voice, “Paul, you are out of your mind; your great learning is driving you out of your mind.” (Acts 26:24)

When you get your grade back:

For you write bitter things against me and make me inherit the iniquities of my youth. (Job 36:26)

When you’re just holding on till break:

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion… (Philippians 1:6)

I press on toward the goal for the prize… (Philippians 3:14)

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. (2 Corinthians 4:17)

When you throw responsibility to the wind and hang out with friends till 3 a.m. right before finals:

And behold, joy and gladness, killing oxen and slaughtering sheep, eating flesh and drinking wine. “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.” (Isaiah 22:13)

When somehow you pull off a decent grade without studying:

The Jews therefore marveled, saying, “How is it that this man has learning, when he has never studied?” (John 7:15)

When the week before finals hits and suddenly ALL THE THINGS are due:

…For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death… (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)

But then the professor cancels or delays a major assignment:

For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; (Psalm 116:8)

When you finish a class you didn’t actually care about:

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. (Isaiah 43:18)

When you submit your last assignment and can taste the sweet, free air of break:

…The LORD has anointed me… to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. (Isaiah 61:1)

…neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:17)

James 1:5, y'all.

James 1:5, y’all.

If you enjoyed this, check out my post 11 IHOP Words IHOPers Use in Normal Conversations.

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11 IHOP Words IHOPers Use In Normal Coversations

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As IHOPers (or those influenced by the IHOPKC language and culture), we tend to have a pretty interesting vernacular. In addition to your standard “Christianese” and “charismatic-speak,” HOP people have a habit of importing familiar biblical and/or preachy words into our everyday conversations, even when the context isn’t spiritual at all. (It’s not even just Kansas City anymore! We’re reaching the world with the message of 24/7 prayer and spreading our weird habits along with it!)

I’m occasionally guilty of most of these… how many are you guilty of?

1. Unto

A bit antiquated, but it’s a really handy little preposition communicating purpose and effect all in two syllables!

Spiritual usage: “For with the heart one believes unto righteousness…” Romans 10:10

IHOPer usage: “I bought some cilantro today unto making some really sweet tacos this weekend.”

2. Fullness

Fullness of time/joy/God/Gentiles… the Bible is all about fullness, and it certainly sounds pretty big and epic.

Spiritual usage: “…that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” Ephesians 3:19

IHOPer usage: “You have to tell us the fullness of the story about your Hebrew tattoo.”

3. Tender

General warm fuzzies, except when Mike Bickle says it.

Spiritual usage: “The most valuable thing I possess is a tender heart before Jesus.” -Mike Bickle

IHOPer usage: “Aw, I always get so tender when I watch Pride & Prejudice.”

4. Forerunner

The quintessential IHOP word. Used once in the Bible (Hebrews 6:20), and 50 times in everything IHOPKC does ever.

Spiritual usage: “End-time forerunners can find inspiration and instruction from New Testament forerunners like John the Baptist.” -Mike Bickle

IHOPer usage: “You were totally the forerunner of watching Doctor Who, and now we all watch it.”

5. Carry your heart

What your attitude or “heart posture” is about something.

Spiritual usage: “I’m convinced if we beheld what David beheld about God, we would live as he lived, and we would carry our hearts before God as he did.” – Mike Bickle

IHOPer usage: “But if the Doctor had carried his heart better about being alone in series four, the whole Waters of Mars fiasco would never have happened.”

6. Antiphonalize

If you’ve taken harp and bowl training, you have no trouble pronouncing this word correctly and using it in casual conversation.

Spiritual usage: “We antiphonalize the prayers by singing responsively just like the angels do in heaven.”

IHOPer usage: “Listen to the cicadas antiphonalize from this tree to that tree!”

7. Provoke

Saying that your friend is a really “provoking” man/woman of God is the highest compliment you can give. And of course, it’s just as likely to be used out of context as well.

Spiritual usage: “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.” Hebrews 10:24 KJV

IHOPer usage: “My roommate is so good with coupons; she really provokes me to be better about finding deals!”

8. Let the reader understand.

This was how the gospel writers spelled 😉 in Greek. We love it. (Seriously, search #letthereaderunderstand on Instagram.)

Spiritual usage: “But when you see the abomination of desolation standing where he ought not to be (let the reader understand), then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains.” Mark 13:14

IHOPer usage: “Royals game with my really, really good friend David! 😉 #letthereaderunderstand <3″

9. Season

We kind of take “for everything there is a season” literally.

Spiritual usage: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

IHOPer usage: “I’m just in a season right now of only drinking artisan coffee.”

10. Effectual

For when the word “effective” just isn’t mature-sounding enough. (I think we got this from 1 Corinthians 16:9, but it’s not NKJV, so… who’s been reading from an 1850s Bible on the prayer mic?)

Spiritual usage: “God, let a wide and effectual door be opened to preach Your word among the Muslims!”

IHOPer usage: “I’m just trying to find the most effectual way to wear my chambray shirt with every single outfit I own.”

11. Amen, let’s stand.

How Mike Bickle always ends a sermon. This superlative version of the classic “amen” is basically the IHOPKC version of *mic drop*. Frequently associated with delicious food.

Spiritual usage: “And that’s why we need to provoke one another in this season to keep our hearts tender before the Lord unto being effectual forerunners unto the fullness of the end of the age. Amen, let’s stand.” -Mike Bickle*

IHOPer usage: “Guess who scored free Chick-Fil-A today!! #amenletsstand

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*Quote may or may not be canon.

EDIT: This post has been getting so many views it’s ridiculous! Thanks for checking it out and sharing on Facebook and Twitter! I blog pretty regularly about a lot of different things, so be sure to subscribe with your email on the right side of this page. Grace and peace. 🙂